Before we got our news, we were TTC for 6 months and while that is a relatively short amount of time, for me it felt like a LIFETIME.
Anyone else who is currently trying for a baby will understand how each month is such a roller-coaster of emotions.
You start off positive and optimistic
Your period has just gone and your gearing up for another month of baby making and are sure that this month will be the month it happens.
You anxiously start peeing on ovulation sticks
You start peeing on your sticks around 10-14 days after your period started and wait to see those two pink lines show up that give you the green light to get baby making!
A positive result (2 parallel lines) on an ovulation stick means that you're due to ovulate in the next 24-36 hours (though it isn't a guarantee of ovulation). You still believe this is going to be your month.
You then enter the abyss that is the dreaded Two Week Wait (TWW) WEEK 1
The two week wait is the longest wait of your life, EVER, until you either get your period or get your big fat positive. I think the TWW should be split in two. The first week is not so bad. You wouldn't be experiencing any symptoms if you were pregnant, and you feel excited about the following week.
You enter the 2nd week of the TWW
This weeks SUCKS. There is no denying it. By the 2nd week of the TWW you are analysing every niggle and twinge. You stare at your boobs for hours wondering if they've got bigger and are constantly checking to see if they feel sore or sensitive. You also find yourself googling every single thing you are experiencing to see if its a pregnancy symptom and are addicted to the website www.twoweekwait.com
At the end of the TWW you then find yourself on knicker watch- every time you go to the loo you wonder if your period has arrived and decide you cant wait to find out any longer, you're going to take a test.
You take a Test
You know you shouldn't, you're only 8-9 days past ovulation and know that even if you are pregnant, you're unlikely to get a positive result, but cant stop yourself anyway.
Its BFN (Big fat negative) and you feel horrible and wish you'd never done the test in the first place. But your boobs DO still feel sore, so maybe, just maybe....
You get your period
And you probably get it on the same sodding day as you wasted £6 on a pregnancy test. Great. Those 'symptoms' you thought you had? Yeah, that was PMS. Mother Nature is a cruel witch and the symptoms of PMS are often similar to those of pregnancy.
You cry, you feel upset that another month has gone by and you still haven't got the news you so wish.
Then, before you have a chance to mourn, the cycle starts all over again.
I described the whole process as being a Roller-coaster that you desperately want to get off but know that you can't.
If you stop being optimistic, you know it'll all fall apart, so all you can do is carry on, hoping each month that this month will be the one.
Yes it sucks, but when it is finally the month, all of the others fade into the distance and it all feels worth it.